Are You Love Deprived?
If they are not love deprived, if they say they’re not love deprived, then, what’s going to happen is, they’re not going to be very in touch with their needs. They’re going to have buried their needs. They’re going to have put their needs aside, and if on the other hand, they say, “Yes, I am love deprived,” then I know that they have more of a sense of reality. They may be more in touch with their needs. That really helps me to know who I’m talking to at any given point in time, because I do a lot of ministering with people that are wounded and broken. Isn’t everybody? It’s true. It’s very, very true.
What’s really amazing is, we are love deprived, because God created us to love and to be loved, to be loved and to love. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we were created in the image of God. Do you remember how many times Jesus said that his father, He loves us, that He, God is love, we are actually told. We were created to, as I said, love and be loved. The Bible says, in John 3:16, of course, everybody knows that, but if you haven’t heard it for a while, that’s where Jesus said that God sent his only begotten son, so that we would be able to have a relationship with the father. He loved us, so He sent His only begotten son.
Jesus was sent to the Earth by God in order to love mankind, to prove, and to show mankind that He really loved them, and to pay the price that needed to be paid so that God would have a relationship with us. He would be able to love us. How does God love? He loves unconditionally. He absolutely has no conditions on his love. We don’t see that, because of our childhood experiences, but God is love. Jesus died so that we could be loved. Isn’t that amazing? Really, when it comes right down to it, Jesus died so that we could be loved. Isn’t that amazing, because most of us don’t feel that way, because we have great trouble believing that God really loves us, that God is really for us, that God really is what the Bible says He is.
The reason we have that is because of our childhood experiences. If we’ve had childhood experiences that really are experiences where we’ve been abused, or we have not been able to be loved, and accepted and approved for who we are, instead of what we do, we are going to believe that God will want to do the same. The reason is, because God set it up so that the parents, our parents, we are so independent when we have the situation of being born as babies, and then, being infants, and then toddlers, we are dependent. We are totally dependent. When we are dependent, we must look to mom and dad for survival. We’re going to die if they don’t feed us. They’re going to die if they don’t … Maybe not as quickly, but if they don’t change us, we’re going to have hurts, and it’s going to be hard.
We believe, because that’s the way God created it, that parents are a god to us. They’re our god. In all reality, they are our god. What happens if they abuse us? What happens if they abuse physically? They abuse us psychologically? God forbid, they abuse us sexually, what happens? You can’t trust people, parents that do that. Another thing that is really hard is they can neglect us. Why neglect is so very, very difficult, is because we don’t even know that we exist, because if we don’t have a mirror, somebody to mirror back to us, and tell us that who we are, and show us who we are, and speak words of life into us, guess what? We don’t exist.
People that have been neglected, I’ve worked with people that have been abused, I’ve worked with people that have been sexually abused, psychologically abused, physically abused, and one of the most difficult, other than the sexual abuse, which is just unbelievably hard to work with, but we’ve had great results with women who have been abused, but the key to it is the neglect is so hard, because the person doesn’t even think they exist. They don’t believe they’re valuable enough to exist. We end up with not being able to trust God. It really, really is a problem. If you’ve been abused in any way, shape, or form, don’t be surprised if you have a hard time trusting God.
We know that we put the face of our fathers on God. It can be mothers, by the way. It can be mothers, because if you did not have a father, your father died, or if your father was absent. I had a father that was a workaholic. Problem is that he came home, and he just never left his work at the work. He was a doctor, and so he, many times, would get calls in the middle of the night, or at dinner, or whatever, because he was a sole practitioner, and so I never really got a chance to connect to him. I’m going to tell you, very honestly, our fathers and mothers did the very best they could. They did. They did the best they could. Your father and mother did the best they could. You know what? It goes back to their fathers and mothers, and back, and back, and back.
What has happened is, is that we do not have fathers and mothers who know how to love us. What kind of love am I talking about? You may have gotten attention, but I’m going to tell you, the attention you got really was due, or because of the fact that you did something. It’s not because of who you were, in most cases. It was because you did something. You were into sports. You were into great grades. You did something that gave you attention. You were not loved for who you were. I was not loved for who I was, and who I … What God created me to be. I was loved for what I did. As a matter of fact, my father gave me some money to get good grades. That’s some attention, but that’s not love. Love is unconditional, if it’s going to be true love. Love is unconditional, and it’s very hard to find anybody that can give unconditional love, because the real reality to the whole situation regarding love is that we must first be loved before we can love anybody else.
How in the world can I give something then, if I have never got it? If I don’t have any money, how can I give you money? If I don’t have love, if I’d never been loved by my father, by my mother, and most parents didn’t know how, then I can’t give you something I don’t have. What we are doing, all the human race, is looking for love, because God created us for love. We’re looking for love. We’re looking for it with the wrong people. We are drawn to people that we think, we’re sure can love us, but they can’t.
The reason they can’t is because they have not the love to love us with. We do it co-dependently. We get co-dependently involved with people we think can love us, and we give to them, or we take from them, and we think we’re getting love. Let me say it again. Let me make this very clear. If I have not received love, then, I can’t give love. I’m trying to give love out of an empty tank, out of an empty well. It would serve us very, very well to know that, in fact, I can’t give love. Where do we go to get love? We go to people, and we are in pain when we’re not in love, when we are not loved for who we are.
Every child knows that if they’re loved for what they do, they’re really not loved. Every child knows that. Every person knows that. You know what we’ve done? My wife and I have put together a whole plan. It’s a process. It’s a plan. It’s a structure for re-parenting. What we didn’t get as children, we have put together a plan, and a structure, and guess what? We are able to, because of the way that we’ve put it together, is we have people that love each other unconditionally in our group, in our church. We are excited about the results, because I’m going to tell you something, when you are loved unconditionally for who you are, and you’re not judged, and you’re not fixed, and you’re not told what to do, but just loved, whatever you’re going through, you’re just loved, and you’re listened to, and you are proved that you’re being listened to, then, what happens is, when you’re loved unconditionally, you know what’s going to happen? Your heart is going to heal.
Jesus said, “The spirit of the Lord,” in Luke 14, “Is upon me, for he has anointed me.” What about His people? Can His people help people with broken hearts? Jesus said, “To heal the brokenhearted. To bring healing to the people that have been bruised.” Bruised where? Emotionally bruised, wounded, broken. Can love heal broken hearts? Yeah, absolutely. You can turn over to the testimony page, and you can hear some testimonies, but if you want more information about this process, and how this process can help you to get more love into your life, unconditional love, the real love, the love that can change your life, then you need to give me, give my wife and I your email.
You can give us your email, and we’re going to send you information about the re-parenting process that we’ve created. It has worked. It has worked with people that have been abused. I’ve had it work with people who’ve been beaten by their fathers. I’ve had it work with people who were neglected. I have had it work … My wife and I have seen miraculous, almost unbelievable results with people that have suffered great, great wounding, and emotional issues, and they just have trauma … They’ve been traumatized. Trauma is anytime our nervous system is overwhelmed. How many times, when you were a child, when you were a baby, when you were an infant, when you were a toddler, was your nervous system overwhelmed? Let me tell you. A lot. That’s because our parents didn’t know how to love us unconditionally.
If you have seen this video, and you are not on the website, then go to joystones.org, because joystones.org will help you to find out that not only is there this subject, love deprived, but there’s many other subjects. As a matter of fact, guess what? There’s 15 videos that average about 10 to 12 minutes that you can watch that will be life-changing, but you need to get this free information, because we want is your email, so that we can feed you this information that’s going to change your life. What is this process, and how does it work so well? Why does it work so well? I’ve got all of the information on it. I just want to give it to you, so you can have more love for yourself, because the Bible says, and remember, the great commandment is, love God with all your heart, mind, and soul. Love your neighbor as yourself. I suggest you cannot love your neighbor, your wife, your kids, if you don’t love yourself. How can you love God? There’s a problem. We can help you, and we will help you to be in a position where you’re not love deprived.