Help Raising Kids
Well that’s a very difficult thing to do, especially if we have emotional issues, if we have been wounded, abused, neglected, and have emotional wounds childhood, you know what, we are going to put those on our children. There is nothing we can do to stop it, because you know how children, young, a baby is born, it doesn’t have anything in it’s brain, okay, it has a clean slate. In two years, okay can you imagine that say in two years a baby will imitate mother and father or just mother, and totally become a person in two years, well where does that imitation, what result is that imitation going to have?
Well, it’s going to have, if mother is broken, dad is broken, the mirror is not going to reflect very well. The imitation is going to end up with a situation that’s not going to be so good. One of the things that has to happen in order to train kids up and your children up properly in a Godly manner is, there has to be an opportunity for you to realize, okay I have my children, and you know what, I see problems and I need to know what to do. Okay, the first thing you can do is say to yourself, you know what, I can’t do what I need to do. Okay, that’s a good start. Second thing you need to do is to just realize, you know what, I need God’s help but if we cannot trust God that’s going to be difficult, so what are we going to do?
Well were going to the first thing behavioral scientist and psychologist tell us that children need, is to be listened to. Please listen to your children, please. They will feel more valuable and more important when they’re listened to, and they need to not only be able to speak whatever, they need to tell you about how they feel. If they cannot tell you how they feel then your children will not be able to end up with a health self image, they won’t to be able with being able to be secure in their emotions, they will be shut down in many cases and that’s not where you want your children to be. That’s a very difficult place, we’ve worked with many people that have been shut down, it is hard work to be able to get them to talk, use their voice. You never want to tell your kids to not to be heard, I’m not going to listen to you. What we need to do is to be able to encourage them, but how do we encourage them? We tell them please tell me how you feel, how do you feel about that, how do you feel about skinning your knee, what do you feel?
Then once you hear them say what they feel then please do not try to fix them, do not try to make them feel different than they feel. If they say, you know, mommy I hate you please just recognize that’s something that will pass, it’s not going to stay, all you need to do is say to them well I hear that your saying that you hate mommy. Well, that’s something that I understand and I’m sorry you hate mommy. Well what are you doing? Your letting the child know that they’re accepted and approved, and it’s vitally important for them to be accepted and approved, because if they’re not accepted and approved by you mom and day, then where are they going to be accepted and approved? By their peers, they’re going to be looking for love in all of the wrong places. If they can’t get it from you they will get it, were wired by God to need love. One of the things that’s going to happen is they’re going to look for it and they’re going to find it with their peers, with the opposite sex, and it’s not going to be a good result, it’s not going to be a good result for you or for them, particularly for them.
What do we need to do? We need to accept whatever they’re telling us and be able to repeat back to them what they just said. That’s let them know that they’ve been heard and that’s vitally important. Then what do we do? We then go ahead and say to them that I’m sorry for how you feel or I’m excited for how you feel. You do what? You validate them, you give them loving approval, loving acceptance, and what we end up with then is a child that really has the security of knowing that they’re valuable enough to mom and dad, important enough to mom and dad to go ahead and to be who they really are.
You know, we can only be who we really are in the moment by telling someone how we feel. We can’t, if we tell them a story then what’s going to happen is were going to end up in a situation where we are not going to be able to validate them very well. It’s those feelings that are so important, you’ve got to encourage your child to feel. It’s vitally important that they feel, it’s vitally important for their emotional well being that you accept them in whatever feelings that they’re having. Whether there, if they’re sad, please don’t take them out of the sadness, if they’re angry, please understand they’re angry. When you validate their anger, when you tell them that I hear your angry, I hear your upset what your really doing is your being with them and brilliant scientists tell us if someone is glad to be with us, that’s going to change what we feel in the moment. It’s vitally important to be able to have your child feel that.
Now what I’m sharing with you is coming from information that I have pit together with another gentlemen and we call it successful parenting. We have lots of material about how to raise children. One of the things that you need to know is what we have is available to you. All you need to do is give us your email, then we will send you information on parenting issues, we’ll send you information of how to be a successful parent, it will be very, very valuable to you. We found that you know, it’s really interesting if you stop and look at it, we have to get a licence to drive a car. The state of California and all the cities have licences to drive a car, but we have no license for being a parent. There is no rules, there is no guidelines for being a parent. Some parents have children so that they can get love for them, can you imagine that? That’s horrible, we don’t want to have kids so we can get love from them.
Were supposed to be, if we’ve got enough emotional healing and were secure enough, were supposed to have children so that we can give love to them, so that we can nurture them, so we can accept them, so we can approve of them, so we can raise them in a Godly manner because what I’m sharing with you is what we have discovered will change a child’s life. It will build their value, build their worth, and their importance. But, you know what, it comes down to you need to help them. They can’t do it for themselves, none of us can, you need to be there to help them. Give them a mirror that’s not broken in so many pieces. Please don’t shame them, because hat shame will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
You need our information, it’s vitally important, it can change the way that you raise your children. You can email me at FCLewis46@yahoo.com, or you can give us your email address and I ask for the information about successful parenting. Were here to help, we can definitely help you, we can make a difference in how you raise your child. We’ve studied this for years by partner in success parenting has a Masters in Psychology, he’s also is taken courses on raising children and early childhood education. We have the knowledge that you need to be a successful parent. All you need to do is give us your email or email us at FCLewis46@yahoo.com. Were excited about helping you to be a successful parent.