Are You Valuable?
I know the answer because God has guided me to study human behavior for the last 20 years, and I didn’t do it for helping other people in the beginning. I first did it because I knew I had many problems. I knew that I was too insecure, I was too driven. Oh my gosh, was I driven.
I wanted to find out why I was so angry, so insecure, so driven to impress others and so needy to be somebody. I don’t know if any of those really tug at your heart, but that’s what I was dealing with. The reason I was dealing with that is because of what happened to me as a child. I have some answers now, and I’m going to help you. If you will give us your email, I’m going to send you some information free of charge that will also help you to understand about this issue. The main thing is stay with me here. You’re going to find out some life-changing information, and it’s going to really help you to have a better life. It’s going to take about 10 minutes, and you’re going to have a life-changing result.
I knew I was driven, I really did. I was so driven by the need to prove that I was valuable, that I did so many things that really affected people around me. I used people. I had to drive the right car, live in the right house and dress a certain way. Boy, it was a hard road. I learned that the reason that I had to try so hard to prove my value was because of my father’s treatment. The way my father treated me is he was physically abusive, and he was emotionally abusive. He was extremely emotionally abusive. I not only didn’t get what I needed, I got things that I didn’t need. I was actually made to feel so unworthy, not lovable. I was made to feel because of what I experienced I felt so worthless. I felt worthless. I didn’t have worth.
It wasn’t my father’s fault. Certainly, I don’t blame my father. I don’t blame my mother for not standing up for me. I don’t blame anybody because I understand this is a problem that goes back to the garden. My father is just really an angry man. The reason he was so angry is because his father was abusive. Guess what? It all went back up generationally. My father ended up losing his brother, become a doctor because he didn’t want people to suffer the way he had suffered, but he suffered in silence. How many of you have suffered in silence? Think about your childhood. Were you able to stand up and tell your abusive father or mother that please stop, this is hurting me? Were you able to do that? I wasn’t until a certain time. Then I got really, really angry because I stood up for myself. Some people can’t stand up for themselves because of the fact that they are afraid of being abused even more. They’re afraid of getting even more than they’ve gotten already, so they keep silent.
Guess what happens when you keep silent? Whether you get angry like I did or whether you stay silent those wounds, those emotional wounds are still there. They are locked inside of your body. Actually, they are locked inside of your cells, and they can cause sickness. They can cause disease. Unresolved emotional pain is a huge problem and causes us to live in pain for the rest of our lives. It’s unresolved. Why? It’s trapped. You didn’t have a way, you didn’t have a voice. One of the thing we try to do at our church is give people a voice. We don’t have church the way that most people have church, but that’s a different subject. You can find out more on the website, but we want people to have a voice. We want to recognize that the pain that we all experienced as children will stay with us. What does the experience tell us? The experience tells us that we are not valuable, not important and not worthy.
Guess what? If I believe that I’m not valuable, not important and not worthy of love, and in my case it really went further. I actually not only believed I wasn’t lovable. I hated myself because I felt my father hated me. That’s what he was proving to me over and over again was that he really hated me. That’s what I experienced. I experienced being hated. I don’t know if you were hated, but I felt hated. This trauma and all of that really caused me to end up in a problem where feeling hated, I ended up hating myself. If I hated myself, wow, that didn’t put me in a very good position. What did I do? I had to get rid of the pain. What did I decide to do? I decided I’m going to prove my value. What did I do? I decided that I would go to college, go to law school for 2 years, but guess what? I wanted to make a lot of money to prove my value. I wanted to buy things and have things to prove my value. I wanted to have power.
I wanted to do things, but guess what? Law school was taking so long that I decided to drop out after 2 years. You only got 3 years. I decided to become a salesman. Salesman make a lot of money, and I made a lot of money. I drove a Mercedes. I lived in a big house and guess what? It didn’t satisfy. You know why it didn’t satisfy? I was not feeling more valuable. I still hated myself because the root problem was what I believed. It wasn’t the situation where I lived in a big house and the car. That wasn’t going to change it, but I kept trying and kept trying. You know if you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, that’s called insanity. I was insane. Believe it or not, I was insanely driven to try to build my value, to try to prove my value, my worth and my importance. It never worked.
What I discovered after my study that I want to share with you is that the problem is what I believe. I’ve got to change what I believe, I had to change what I believe. I found out the only way I could change what I believed was to tell somebody what I believed and then for them to love and accept me even in my drivenness, so I wanted to do that. I had to find a safe group, and you will need to find a safe group, if you’re going to change. We know how to find safe groups. We know how this process works. I’ve been studying, like I said, for 20 years. We know how you can have permanent change. You can end up not hating yourself. I don’t hate myself any more. In fact, I love myself but not in a narcissistic way, just in a way that is healthy. I’m healthy now. That’s good for the people in my church because if I wasn’t healthy it wouldn’t be very good.
We can help you, and we want to help you. Please give us your email, tell me you want to know more about how you can deal with the emotional wounds of childhood, so that you can be really dealing with the issue of value. Value is not something that you can make happen. Value is something that you need to experience over and over again. Remember, God values us. That’s a piece of the puzzle, but so many people have a problem trusting God because of the father’s abuse. That’s the other subject we talked about a while ago. You can look up that on one of the other sections. Give us your email, and you will find out a life-changing result of how you can be healed of the issue of value, the issue of hatred of yourself, the issue of not feeling important, and worthy or lovable. We can help you, and we will help you. We’re looking forward for you joining with us and learning how to be able to do this.